You’ve probably seen a movie or picture of some sort that is depicting a scene of someone drawing a line in the sand and commanding someone NOT to cross the line! What they are saying is, this is the boundary of where you can come, but do not cross the line or else! That same philosophy has swept through teenager’s minds all across our country in relation to their parents. They emphatically tell their parents, “This is the line, don’t cross it!”

Then the question is raised, is there such a line? Do teenagers have a right to block out certain aspects of their lives from the control and supervision of their parents?

It has happened in various areas and parts of their lives slowly over the course of the past generation. But now the mentality this is my music, my computer, my car, and my bedroom is rampant throughout our homes. When in reality, the Bible teaches just the contrary.

God taught us in His Word that there is no such line. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Colossians 3:20 teaches, “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” With these two verses, we understand that it is the parents’ responsibility not only to train their children, but that the children are to obey in all things. Every aspect of their lives is to be governed and monitored by godly parents. However, you are not to be controlling in the sense of a master/servant manner, but in a loving, concerned manner. You are to help them along through their life with godly wisdom and counsel from the Word of God. Matthew Henry put it this way, “They must be at their parent’s direction and disposal, as those who have a natural right and are fitter to direct them than themselves.”

You cannot successfully train up a child in a Biblical way if you allow them to section off parts of their lives as “off limits” to you. Their music, social network sites (i.e. facebook, myspace), cell phones, and bedroom are not exceptions to this fact. There is not one part of your teenager’s life that you are not welcome to know and question about.

Where’s the line in the sand? It determines where you put it. Either you will allow your teenager to partition off sections of their lives from you, or you will be active and involved in their lives always training them in the way they should go!

How do you keep the line out of the sand? Here is four simple actions that will help you as you seek to bring God glory through your teenager’s life.

1. Show them from the Bible that it is your duty to train them in ALL areas of their life.

2. Show interest in their life.

• Everyday after school, make it a practice to ask how their day went. Be involved in the things that they are involved in.
  

3. Oversee their social network sites, mp3 players, etc.

• If it requires a password, you ought to know it. If they have a car that you allow them to drive, you should check to see what music is playing. Know who their friends are.

4. Keep an open line of communication between you and your teenager.

A vital part of keeping the line out of the sand is keeping this open line of communication. They need to be able to talk with you about what is going on in their life. If you keep this open communication available, it will help to prevent the line in the sand.

Philip Rabon

Middle School Youth Pastor

Email

919.872.2215 x148

@philiprabon