By Sharon Rabon

The story is told of a young lawyer who was having a rough day. She couldn’t seem to type her notes correctly. She misplaced an important document and she lost her cell phone. “What’s wrong with you?” her friend asked. “Are you in love or something?”

“Of course I’m not in love," she snapped, “I’m married.”

What a sad but true scenario of what often happens in a marriage. A couple falls in love, gets married, and over the process of time, does not continue to grow in love.

How can our marriage continue to grow in love and devotion to the one we married? What steps can we take to improve our marriage and cause a desire for our love to become stronger towards our mate?

1. Work at becoming one.

- The phrase “one plus one equals one” was coined years ago and is a wonderful statement applying to the marriage relationship.

- Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

2. Get to know your mate.

- You should learn to think alike so much that you could answer for your mate if you needed to.

- The best way to get to know your mate is to spend quality time communicating with each other.

- Also, spend time doing things that each other enjoys doing.

- Many times we think we know the one to whom we are married when in reality they have begun to change and slip away from being the person we once knew.

3. Be careful what you do with your feelings.

- Your feelings are just that. They are not necessarily right or wrong.

- You have a right to express your feelings, but it is important to express them carefully and without passing judgment.

- Feelings can draw you closer to your mate but judgments can push you apart.

4. Speak the language of your mate.

- The five love languages as laid out by “Gary Chapman are: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Gifts, Acts of Service and Quality Time.

- If your mate responds to words of affirmation, then speak those words to them on a regular basis.

- This technique of speaking the language of your mate must be worked on constantly until it has become a habit. It is much easier to speak your own language than the language of your mate.

5. Laugh often.

- A married couple needs to have enjoyable down time together. You must be able to laugh with each other, not trying to correct what the other has to say or downplay their joke in order to get ahead.

- It is very important that we enjoy each other’s company on the lighter side.

6. Renew your commitment on a regular basis.

- Romans 12: 9,10 "Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another;"

- Commit daily to choose to love your mate.

- Commit to treasure your mate as a gift from God.

- Commit to be quick to forgive.

- Commit to daily spend time with your mate.

- Commit to show respect to your mate both publicly and privately, avoiding put downs and belittling words.

- Commit to pray for your mate daily.

 

There is nothing quite like the marriage relationship. Let us all cherish our mate and never let it be said of us, “Of course I’m not in love, I’m married.”

Sharon Rabon

Heart to Heart Ministries Coordinator